J.V. Stalin in My Life

The very first time I saw Stalin was on May 1, 1950 when I was a student at the Institute of Foreign Languages and was taking part in the athletic sporting society "Nauka" (Science) parade on Red Square. The demonstration of the working people had begun. I was marching in the first right-hand flank column of demonstrators. When we began approaching the Red Square, flowing around from the two sides of the Lenin Historical Museum, then from columns marching in front of us we heard the cries of "Stalin! Stalin!" By now all of us understood that comrade Stalin was standing on the tribune of the Lenin Mausoleum. And at that moment, a remarkable feeling of joy, delight and unity with all those on the Red Square enveloped me. I heard only the rhythm of the marching feet and the excited shouts of the marchers also reciting May Day slogans and toasts, and then I saw Him. He was standing, wearing a white military jacket and smiling, greeting with a raised hand the young people passing the mausoleum. It was then, when passing over the bar-shaped stones of the Red Square that I experienced this remarkable feeling of unity of all the Soviet people. I then recalled Mayakovsky’s words: "a great feeling in the name of class." It is namely this feeling that I experienced on that day. And now, nearing the end of my life, I can say that this was the happiest day of my life.

And afterwards came the bitterest day: March 1953. Al life and being, protested against the ending of the leader’s life, it seemed as if the ground was crumbling beneath my feet. And one single thought was worrying me: "How are we going to manage without him?" I was not able to pass the Kollony Hall to bid farewell to him. And afterwards, when the Red Square was opened, thousands of people arrived and stood silently in front of the Mausoleum. I will never forget the silence and the eyes fixed on the new name on the Mausoleum. So much bitterness and anguish.

The second time that I saw Stalin was when his body was in the Mausoleum.

Afterwards began the Khrushchev period. The radio propaganda never stopped about the "personality cult, the personality cult". I immediately hung the portrait of Stalin on my wall at home. One day, my young son asked me: "Mummy, what do they mean by the Stalin personality cult?" I replied: "Son, you are still very young and there is much you still do not understand. When you’ll grow up you will be able to work it out all by your self. But, remember one thing though, the Soviet people loved him, they sacrificed themselves and gave their lives in his name, and went into battle with his name on their lips and they triumphed over their enemies."

The years passed. I supervised a scientific library in one of the Scientific Research Institutes in the Moscow district. In 1970 we decided to celebrate the 100^th year since the birth of V.I. Lenin and "From Moscow to Berlin" exhibition. It was made up of two sections- a photo exhibit and authentic posters from the time of the Great Patriotic War.

This exhibit was a great success showing the role of Stalin and the documents that showed him in this role as the great leader that he was.

Each year I place flowers on Stalin’s grave and I am not the first one always, Each year more and more flowers are placed on his grave.

I also had the opportunity to visit the death camp in Germany where Stalin’s son Yakov was imprisoned and then murdered. Over 100,000 prisoners were tortured here and killed, including 20,000 Soviet prisoners of war.

I placed red flowers there and fulfilled my promise to myself to do this. I took some stones from the path over which the Soviet prisoners marched, near the window where Stalin’s son Yakov Dzhugashvili was murdered. I kept them for years and now will give them to those who were closest to Yakov to keep and remember.

At one of the wreath-laying ceremonies on the grave of Stalin, I met the grandson Yevgeny Yakovlevich Dzhugashvili and gave him those stones. My promise was now fulfilled.